I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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