my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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