I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
