after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize