Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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