I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
third nipple confirmed
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
