He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize