We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
