is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
