you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
