I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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