i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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