I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
even my farts smell like vagina
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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