Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
