this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
