Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This girl is more easily done than said...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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