Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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