the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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