K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
