What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
