I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
