but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
