champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
