Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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