I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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