Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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