How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
