Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
