i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
