I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
