wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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