I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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