look no pants
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
