I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I showed him my bush... on skype.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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