It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
