I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We need to rekindle our bromance
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
