I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
