I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
