i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
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I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
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Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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