smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
