my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Randomize
