College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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