Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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