If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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