I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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