I'm really into asian looking animals
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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