His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
