I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize