what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
