Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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