I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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