You're completely useless in the revolution.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
