between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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