It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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