i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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