Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
