Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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