how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
