Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize