cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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