Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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