I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
