Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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