Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
