But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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