im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
