Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
