can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
