jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I woke up under a house in Key West
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